Something happened at 40

Three months ago, I turned the big 4-0.

Now I'm a person who loves birthdays. Birthdays were always important in our house growing up. Even now, my brothers and sisters and I always call each other on our birthdays no matter where we are. And when my nieces and nephews were smaller, we made a big deal out of their birthdays too. So birthdays have always been special to me.

But something happened at 40...

Oh I still celebrated my big day. In fact, my family had a surprise birthday party for me, and I felt like a kid at Christmas! It was great!

But somewhere within me, something happened at 40...

Something that caused me to reflect not just on who I was.
(I'd figured that out in my 30's)
But rather to reflect on who I wanted to be.

Recently I adopted a 4 month old puppy, and I named her Nadia. Nadia was a stray that found herself at our local dog pound. She needed a home. And I needed her.

Each day as I watch her play and romp through my house, I'm amazed at her inquisitiveness and energy. She doesn't miss a beat nor anything around her. And yet she enjoys her down time too as she finds simple enjoyment in cuddling with me or giving soft sweet puppy kisses.

She sees the world through the eyes of someone who know what life is really about.


And the other day as I watched her sleeping, it hit me.
She was who I wanted to be.
No I don't mean that I always wanted to be a dog.
(Although some of them have some pretty good lives)

But what I mean is this:

Nadia is always herself. She doesn't spend time apologizing for that, but rather she spends time being who and what she is. Each day brings new adventure and discovery for her, even in things she saw and learned the day before. She doesn't let a moment pass wasted by her, instead she seizes that moment to be who she was called and created to be.
She adds something of herself to each day.

When my other dogs were puppies, I was so busy trying to get them through the chewing and biting puppy stuff, that their puppyhood passed right by me. And even now I'm guilty of trying so hard to get from one point in my life to another that I miss the details in between. I forget to live and enjoy life.

Nadia has taught me that life isn't a grocery list that I check off as I get to each new level. But rather life consists of new moments, every day. And those moments should not be crossed off or conquered, but enjoyed by living them.

I'd say Nadia was one smart puppy, but I could be biased.

But one thing's for sure...when I grow up...I want to be just like her.

Oh did I tell you that the Egyptian translation for Nadia means, called by God?

Definitely she was called to be my gift, and one of my greatest teachers.

And as my 40's are calling me and beckoning me to enter this new season in my life, I feel like I'm ready now. Ready to start living.

Like I told ya, something happened at 40...

The Fear Factor

I have a friend whose husband, being the insightful man he is, who whenever she is anxious or afraid of something, always asks her "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" Once she gives him her answer he then replies, "Well if fear is the only thing stopping you, pretend its not there and do what it is you really desire in your heart.

Isn't it funny how fear and worry can often hold us hostage, so much so that often we let golden moments of opportunity pass us by.

All because of fear.

And sometimes (if I'm to be honest), I don't really know what it is I'm afraid of.
I only know how I feel.

Well, yesterday I finally accomplished step one of a many step program. Following the encouragement and advice of many of you, I created this blog page.

Now I know the sky isn't going to crack open and the heavenly choir won't break out in a round of melodic Hallelujahs, but for me this was a big step.

I know in our technological advanced society, this is no big deal anymore. Children have blog pages and almost everyone I know has some type of web presence in one way or another.

But for me....... this is a big deal and I don't want the moment to pass without recognizing the significance of it.
I think I do that too often. Let a moment pass without realizing that it was a turning point or at the very least a moment of great significance.

Often I have hesitated to do a blog or web page because I was just plain afraid. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of being so exposed. Afraid of failing. Afraid of not having anything to write about. Afraid of being afraid.

But I finally realized that fear isn't something that should immobilize me, but rather something to empower and motivate me to do something.

And in a moment of clarity, I realized that by letting fear hold me back, I was the only thing standing in my way of following my heart and pursuing my writing dreams.

Suddenly I understood and grasped hold of the fact that I owed it to someone very important to at least try.

Me.

And if in my trying, I did fail, so what?

I can at least take comfort from the fact that I did something.


And in that way I won't have failed at all.


So with fear still present, (but at least taking a back seat), I'm moving forward. Forward in my writing and expressions to the world.

And I appreciate each of you for helping me on this journey. The journey of finding and claiming Valerie's voice to a world she was once afraid of.

And its only the beginning!

Welcome

Growing up my cousins and I learned a song called "Welcome to My World"

Sing along with me if you know it too :

Welcome to my world

Won't you come on in

Step into my heart

Leave your cares behind

Welcome to my world

Built with you in mind

Welcome!

I'm so blessed to have you join me, even if for but a moment.

It is my hope that your visit with me will be filled with enlightment and encouragement for your journey through life.

I think we all need a safe place where we can be who we are. A place where we can expose our hearts without fear or judgement. A place of contentment where we can refuel and replenish so that we can continue our journey through life.

You've just entered that kind of place! So take off your shoes....prop up your feet... relax your mind...open your heart...and allow your soul to be blessed as together we leave behind the cares of the world and enter into a safe sanctuary built with us in mind.

You are welcome in this place!

Enjoy the journey with me!